How to Make Your Wedding Guest List

Let’s talk about how to make your wedding guest list, because creating a wedding guest list can be one of the most challenging aspects of wedding planning. Questions like “Will I hurt their feelings if I don’t invite them?” or “Do they expect an invite?” can make the process feel overwhelming. However, knowing how to make your wedding guest list can ease this burden and help you craft a list that reflects your special day.

I’m here to answer all the burning questions about how to make your wedding guest list, so grab a pen and paper (for those of us who still love the traditional way) and let’s get started!

1. Determine What Type of Wedding You’re Having

Consider the style of your wedding—traditional, intimate, big Catholic wedding, small backyard gathering, elopement, or the biggest bash of the year. The type of wedding and your chosen venue will dictate the number of guests you can or should invite. Your venue’s capacity is a significant factor in shaping your guest list.

2. Is Everyone Invited to Both Ceremony and Reception?

I fell in love with the venue my husband and I chose for our wedding—a charming split-level Victorian house. We faced a challenge with the limited space upstairs for our ceremony (around 75 people), yet we wanted to celebrate with more friends and family. Our solution was to send two separate invitations: one for the ceremony and another for the reception. Close family and friends joined us for the ceremony, and as space became available at the reception, more guests arrived to celebrate.

3. Pleasing the Parents

Navigating parental expectations can be tough. Remember, this is your wedding—a celebration of the life you and your partner are building together. It’s okay if cousin Judy twice removed isn’t on the guest list. Parents might worry about excluding someone, but focus on the people who matter most to you. However, if your parents are financially contributing to the wedding, consider letting them invite a few people who are important to them. They want to share in the pride and joy of your special day.

4. To Do or Not to Do: +1’s?

My venue’s limited capacity made me forget about +1’s. Some guests showed up with friends or siblings I had never met, exceeding our venue’s limit. If space is tight, communicate clearly to avoid uninvited guests. It’s okay to let people know not to bring random, uninvited plus ones.

5. Kids or Adults Only?

With many young family members, I debated whether to invite kids. Would they get bored or distract their parents during the ceremony? I decided to set up a kids’ table supervised by high school students with coloring and small toys (the Target $1-$5 section is a lifesaver). This created more room for adults who genuinely wanted to be there and kept the kids entertained.

6. Actual Guest List Making

Start your guest list with close family members—parents, siblings, spouses, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Work your way down from the most important people on each side of the family. Next, have your fiancé make their list of desired guests. This day is a big deal for them too, and they want their closest supporters there. You can also ask your mom or future mother-in-law for suggestions. Just be cautious if you’re easily stressed by others’ opinions. Too many voices can complicate the planning process.

7. Do They Pass the Wedding Guest List Test?

To help decide who to invite, consider these questions for each potential guest:

• Have you spoken to them in the past 12 months?
• Do you have a close/family connection?
• Do your parents insist they come?
• Do you spend time with them socially, outside of work?
• Will they make your wedding more fun?
• Could you imagine your wedding day without them?

I hope these tips on how to make your wedding guest list make the planning process a bit easier for you. Let me know in the comments which step you found most helpful!